ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
