I am puke
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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