the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
