Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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