Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
