I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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