you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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