Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
