I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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