just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
