haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
