Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
