Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
