Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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