all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
