I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize