I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize