I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
