8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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