What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
