I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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