The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Buhtt sex?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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