After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize