she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
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