i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
