True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
