I'll bet she douches with gravy.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
