I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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