I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
40s are totally the cure
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
