Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
