why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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