my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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