Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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