I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
