Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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