you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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