Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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