i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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