Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
