I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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