awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm just crazy horny about you
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
