I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
