Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
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btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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