But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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