your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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