he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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