kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
