Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
