not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
