If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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