your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize