I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
