I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
