i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
