Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Come see our sink grown plant.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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