doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
