We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
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fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
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we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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