so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
