Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
