I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
