Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
