she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
