So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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